On the doorstep of the future...

I do no longer believe that the quiet times will arrive at work. I've been waiting two years and I've listen to the countless promises of managers, but the truth is it doesn't get any better than this. I've chosen long-term, elderly and palliative care for a reason: Nurses are scarce in this field, and I didn't want to take the 'easy' way out and make a career in a hospital. I wanted to be where it was most needed, in a nursing home.

It's hard, hard work both physically as mentally and the truth is we are always understaffed. It's usually not even a money issue, but especially now there's the problem of finding people with the right education for the right job. At the moment, people with the right qualifications are scarce. This means that people with lower qualifications have to be hired to do their job. That's ok because there is no alternative but it puts a lot of strain on the employees who have to take responsibility for the care that they give and for the tasks they can't fullfill simply because they are not allowed to. It happens to me almost weekly that I have to take care of everything that extends beyond basic personal care for 23 inhabitants in an eight-hour shift, all by myself. Little pressure! No matter how many times you point out the problem and tell your bosses what it is like, things never really change. And it will get worse, I am sure of it. Care will only get more complex because people stay home as long as possible. High-complex care will be the future.

Despite all of that I'm determined not to run away from these problems. I want to give what I can professionally to make the world for our inhabitants a bit better. They deserve as much as anyone else and the truth is that they often have lost everything. Their home, their autonomy, their dignity and their social lives. But still, even under the current circumstances, I am often proud with what we accomplish in the little time and with the limited means we have for the people in our nursing home. I thrive on the little succeses and the small miracles of life that I see every day. And I just love what I do. I know that change for the better, change for the future can only be started within oneself and I really hope that one day the care we give will be as perfect and complete as I envisioned it on the day I left nursing school on the doorstep of my future as a nurse...

Fanclub business...

It's been a while, since I last posted. I've been working a lot and basically that has been absorbing all my energy. The time I am not sleeping I am working to finish the new magazine for the fanclub. 16 pages full colour, it's a thing I am personally very proud of because I think we are the only not English- or French-language fanclub to do so. We are going on 2000 registered online members and we will probably reach that number before the end of the year.
Based on the fact that the two largest international online communities about Céline have respectively 4400 and 8000 online members I think it proves how enourmous the Dutch fanbase is. And we don't translate anything in English except for the foreign members of our magazine. We like to be something special, we like to give the Dutch-language fans something that's unique and only for them. We are rarely mentioned on other Céline-websites even though most of them link us. I like the fact that we remain to be personal we know almost all the members by name and we met many of the members personally. The huge advantage is that The Netherlands and Flanders (the dutch-spealing part of Belgium) are so small, that it is easy to meet up. People know each other because of concerts, because of fan-meetings or because they went with us on one of the trips to Montréal or Las Vegas!

Music fills my life...

I wouldn't know what to do without music. Last week I've discovered again so many beautiful songs. I was watching an old episode of ER and then heard a song about saying goodbye to a loved one. I had no idea who the female singer was and I had no idea what the title of the song was, but I had goosebumps all over. I quickly scribbled down some of the lyrics "I wil hear you in the sound of the waves" and then did a search on altavista. And there she was Beth Nielsen Chapman with her song 'Sand and Water'. Beth wrote the song for her husband who died of cancer in 1994. It's one of the most beautiful, emotional and sincere songs I've ever heard. You can't be anything but deeply touched by this song. I downloaded some of her songs and I definately will buy some of her albums soon. I love her voice and she really is an amazing singer and songwriter :) Here are the lyrics:

Sand and Water
(Beth Nielsen Chapman)

All alone I didn't like the feeling
All alone I sat and cried
All alone I had to find some meaning
In the center of the pain I felt inside

All alone I came into this world
All alone I will someday die
Solid stone is just sand and water, baby
Sand and water, and a million years gone by

I will see you in the light of a thousand suns
I will hear you in the sound of the waves
I will know you when I come, as we all will come
Through the doors beyond the grave

All alone I heal this heart of sorrow
All alone I raise this child
Flesh and bone, he's just
Bursting towards tomorrow
And his laughter fills my world and wears your smile

All alone I came into this world
All alone I will someday die
Solid stone is just sand and water, baby
Sand and water and a million years gone by

Hidden talents...

HA! I found one. I always thought I wasn't such a wonderful cook and I will probably never be chef in a four star restaurant BUT...I can do pancakes :) Ever since I got into my new apartment last april I am trying to cook my dinners and slowly but surely I am getting better! And today I made the best pancakes I ever tasted. I know...I know they're not such a big deal but still...I can do something I didn't know I could :)

The voice of the next generation...Bianca Ryan

June 28, 2006

Bianca Ryan on NBC's America's Got Talent




I am telling you, if there's ever a singer that's coming close to my Céline it's this eleven year-old. Watch and you'll know what I mean.

John and Marlena withdrawal...

John and Marlena fans are not happy when you make the descision to backburner their favourite couple for the entire summer. It's not about how Deidre Hall and Drake Hogestyn don't deserve the time off because they definately do, but it's the time to do so, on the brink of their reunion.

NBC and a spokesperson for 'Days' ofcourse tell us it's perfectly normal to backburner characters when a big storyline ends and move other characters forwards but to take them totally off screen for eight weeks to me that is a bit disrespectful to the enormous J&M fanbase. I have to admit that Deidre and Drake are probably the only reason I am watching. I am sure the ratings will tell them. It saves me a lot of time.

Miracles on a regular wednesdaymorning...

Sorry, I have been so quiet the past two weeks, but I had the scare of my life on wednesday June 14th. I'd just started work it was 8 a.m. and was cleaning up the room of a patient after I had washed him up and I send him ahead to have breakfast in the livingroom because he had to go to a doctors appointment in the hospital and there was a flex worker with me who will work on our unit over the summer. So I walk into the hallway to get rid of the towels and I hear him panic "Nurse..nurse...help! Quickly..." So I rush into the livingroom to find my collegue, who cares for the patients meals, on the floor in the kitchen. I drop down on my knees, assess her quickly and find she is not breathing, has no pulse and is in severe shock...I rush over the emergency button and send my flex to get help and go back to my collegue and start CPR...within the minute my collegues are there who help me and after another few minutes two other nurses join us to take over until the ambulance is there...

She survived guys without any braindamage, when you know how small the chance is to even survive cardiac arrest...only 10 to 20% lives and more than half of the 10-20% has severe handicaps or brain damage. That she survived this without any of it is really a miracle...I am so shaken up and have been on a emotional rollercoaster the past few days. You know this can happen to a patient...but you don't expect it to happen to a collegue. My collegues are awesome and so incredibly sweet, I spend hours on the phone this week LOL I just wanted to share...hope you don't mind.

xx...Cindy